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To my fellow travelers of space, time, and mental illness,

As we venture ever forward into the undiscovered frontier of all that exists, I must give pause, I am confronted with the consequence of mental health in the Multiverse.

If you subscribe to the theory that there exist infinite potential and possible universes or dimensions, there are some interesting consequences as they relate to mental health.

I am depressed, in the only reality I’ve ever known, for as long as I can remember. If infinite instances of me exist in infinite universes, there is the frightening possibility of infinite depression with every possible manifestation of loneliness.

There I exist in the darkest days I’ve known in this reality, but times infinity darker, lasting times infinity longer, with every possible outcome and consequence.

If all this is true, there is the potential outcome where I have completed suicide. In fact, there are infinite universes where the end result for me is suicide. This is comforting and disappointing thought.

If we continue down this depression spiral, there are infinite universes where I do not exist at all, never showed up, never even a twinkle in my father’s eye - cause there are infinite universes where he didn’t exist.

That univers carries on without ever even knowing me, and that is a bitter sweet relief.

Let’s continue down this line of thinking. If my darkest days and darker exits, if my non existence, my never presence exists, in this multiverse where every imaginable possibility exists then there is also a reality where I am my best self, I have achieved success, I am not alone, I am happy and free.

It is hard to believe that my best possible reality even exist. More than that it is incredible to think that the best outcomes do not outnumber the darkest, because the darkest cannot outnumber the best either.

In the Multiverse there is peace in balance and neutrality. There is hope in taking a larger perspective that at any given moment my wildest dreams have the same chance as my worst fears. No matter the outcome of the reality I am experiencing, there is a version of me I will be jealous of, but also a version of me in a reality I can be grateful that I am being spared from experiencing.


Kristee Ono